Top Tips for Getting Through a Breakup or Divorce as a Single Parent

No one really prepares you for how extremely challenging and exhausting a breakup or divorce feels when you have kids.

You’re not just trying to get over the relationship, you’re still having to show up every day. You’re parenting and having to put on a brave face for your kids. You’re making decisions you're not mentally prepared for. You’re co-parenting with someone that you want absolutely nothing to do with untangling from. You're running on empty from trying to figure everything out alone and rebuild your life for you and your kids. And somehow, you’re expected to keep functioning like everything’s fine.

If this is you right now, I want you to know this first: what you’re feeling and is normal. it's confusing, scary, overwhelming, exhausting and lonely for everyone. So please don’t convive yourself that you need to rush your way through it.

Let me breakdown my top, very real tips for getting through your breakup as a single parent.

1. Stop expecting yourself to “handle it better”

This is not a small life event. This is huge, its life changing, you're completely rebuilding your life from scratch and managing a total identity change all at once.

You don’t need to be strong all the time.

You don’t need to be positive.

You don’t need to have it figured out.

Some days you’ll cope well. Other days you’ll feel like you’re back at square one. That doesn’t mean you’re life is over or your life has fallen apart for good, it means you’re human.

Give yourself permission to feel and process everything you're going through.

2. Separate the breakup from your worth

One of the hardest parts of separation is how quickly it can turn into self-doubt.

You question your choices. You keep thinking about what happened, how you could have handle it differently.

Over time, that can quietly chip away at your confidence.

But the end of a relationship does not mean you weren’t enough. It does not mean you failed. And it does not define how your future will look.

A relationship ending says far more about compatibility, timing, and emotional capacity than it does about your value as a person or a parent.

3. Focus on what you can control (and gently let go of the rest)

As a single parent, it’s easy to get stuck worrying about what your ex is doing, saying, or planning, who they're socialising with or dating now.

But the truth is, you can’t control them. And staying focused there will only keep you stuck in the past.

Keep your focus on what you can control:

• how you respond

• how you communicate

• how you care for yourself

• the life you're building

• how you show up

Moving your focus back to you and staying in your lane is one of the most important steps during a breakup.

4. Don’t rush the healing process just to feel “better”

There’s so much pressure to move on quickly, to heal faster, be okay sooner, get back out there, prove you’re fine.

But healing doesn’t work like that. Doing more doesn’t mean it happens quicker.

Real healing comes from allowing yourself time to process, reflecting on what happened, and integrate what you’re learning. It’s not about fixing yourself, it’s about understanding yourself.

5. Be mindful of slipping into survival mode

After separation, many single parents go straight into survival. You do what needs to be done. You push feelings aside. You focus on the kids, the logistics, the day-to-day.

That makes sense, but survival mode isn’t meant to be permanent.

If you notice yourself constantly exhausted, emotionally numb, or disconnected from yourself, it’s a sign you need support.

6. Get support that helps you move through the breakup, not stay stuck in it

Talking about the breakup is important, and asking questions on social media can sometimes offer some guidance but it's also important to remember that healing also means learning how to let it go. That includes working through the anger, grief, guilt, and shame that so many single parents carry, and often keep to themselves

Support is designed to help you process those emotions safely, rebuild trust in yourself, and regain confidence in your decisions, not replay the same pain over and over.

This is where my coaching focuses. We work on moving through the breakup, not keep you living in it. That means rebuilding self-trust, strengthening emotional boundaries, releasing guilt and shame, and helping you feel steady again, in co-parenting, in dating, and in yourself. It’s about getting to a place where the past no longer controls how you show up in the present.

7. Remember: this is a small part of your life, not the whole story

Right now, it might feel like everything revolves around the breakup, the emotions, the logistics, the uncertainty, the challenges, coparenting, legal procedures.

But once you slowly work your way through the breakup life will start to look very different, for the better. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, but it's a matter of getting over those speed humps first.

You are still becoming. You are still growing. And there is life, real, fulfilling, meaningful life, on the other side of this. I promise!

If you’re navigating a breakup or divorce as a single parent and feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or unsure how to move forward, you don’t have to do it alone.

Coaching is exactly designed specifically for single parents is the support you need to help you through this transition. It's not by rushing your healing, but by helping you rebuild your confidence, reframe your mindset, and move forward in a way that feels happier and easier for you and your kids.

If this is something you’re struggling with, let’s have a chat. This is where you start rebuilding gently, intentionally, and at your own pace.

Leanne

Lifa After Plus One

Single Parent Coach

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