Valentine’s Day as a Single Parent

Valentines Day over the years with my girl.

Let’s talk about Valentine’s Day.

Because if you’re a single parent, Valentine’s Day can bring up certain feelings.

Even if you’re totally fine most days, even if you’ve accepted the breakup, even if you’re genuinely proud of how far you’ve come… this day has a way of creeping in and poking at the part of you that still feels a little tender.

It can feel like one big reminder of what you do not have.

And honestly, it is so normal if you feel that.

But here’s the thing, Valentine’s Day does not have to be a day that drags you down. It does not have to be a day you dread. It does not have to be a day you sit in your feelings and spiral.

It can be whatever you decide it to be.

You’re not missing out, you’re just doing it differently

The biggest trap with Valentine’s Day is comparison.

You look around, you see couples, you see posts, you see flowers, dinners, gifts, date nights… and it can trigger that thought of, “Wow. Everyone else has someone.”

But what you are seeing is a small snippet of someone's life.

And also, let’s be real for a second.

There are SO many people in relationships who are not happy.

There are so many people who are in relationships where they do nothing for Valentine’s Day, or worse, they feel disappointed, ignored, or taken for granted.

So being single on Valentine’s Day is not automatically the sad option.

It is only sad if you make it mean something about you.

If it makes you feel sad, don’t fight it, redirect it

I’m not going to sit here and tell you to just “love being single” and “embrace it” because sometimes you don’t want to embrace it.

Sometimes it just stings.

Sometimes you just miss the idea of having someone.

Sometimes you miss being chosen.

Sometimes you miss being loved in that way.

That is human.

But instead of letting the day become a reminder of what you do not have, you can use it as a reminder to give yourself something you DO have.

Celebrate it with your kids (this is what I do)

One of my favourite ways to approach Valentine’s Day as a single parent is making it about love in general, not just romantic love.

I always buy my daughter a little gift. Sometimes it’s flowers. Sometimes it’s cute cupcakes. Sometimes it’s freshly baked cookies from the local bakery, sometimes it's a cue pair of peter alexander pyjamas.

And honestly, it’s such a simple thing, but it changes the whole vibe of the day.

Instead of Valentine’s Day being about what I’m missing, it becomes about creating a sweet memory.

You could do something like:

• Take your kids out for breakfast

• Do a little picnic dinner in the lounge room

• Go out to a cute spot for a gelato

• Make “Valentine’s pancakes” at home

• Let them pick a small gift from the shop, even if it’s just a chocolate bar

• Or even be a little bit fancy and take the kids out for a nice dinner

It doesn’t need to be expensive. It's just needs to be centred around whatever makes you happy. And maybe that's simply knowing you're no longer having to spend Valentine's Day with your ex.

Celebrate it with your friends (or other single parents)

If Valentine’s Day bring up certain emotions, then make plans with your friends.

Plan something casual and easy:

• A dinner out with friends

• A “Galentine’s” catch up

• A movie night

• A dessert date

• A long walk and a coffee

And if you do not have a huge social circle right now, that is okay too. Even one friend makes a difference.

Celebrate it with yourself (yes, it counts)

Valentine’s Day can also be a really good excuse to do something for you.

Not because you’re “trying to prove you’re fine” but because you deserve to enjoy your own life.

Ideas:

• A bubble bath, candles, and a glass of wine

• A rom-com night in

• Ordering your favourite takeaway

• A solo beach walk

• A massage

• A new book and an early night

• A gym session followed by a café stop

• A little self-care moment that is not about beauty, but about comfort

Even just clean sheets and a fresh shower can feel like a reset.

Or hey… you can ignore it completely

You are also allowed to treat Valentine’s Day like it is literally nothing.

Mute the posts.

Stay off social media.

Do not engage with it.

Do not make it mean anything.

You don’t need to turn it into a big empowering moment if you’re not in the mood.

The truth is, you’re allowed to feel whatever you feel

If Valentine’s Day triggers you, that's ok, its just means you still have some emotions there about the idea of being single and possibly it's something you're still trying to accept.

You're human, not a robot, is normal to have these mixed emotions

But just remember get to choose what you do with the day.

And if you can shift it from “This reminds me of what I lost” into “This is a day I can create something nice for myself and my kids” then you win.

You don’t need a relationship to be loved.

You don’t need a partner to be worthy.

And you’re not behind in life just because you’re doing it solo right now.

Valentine’s Day is one day.

Your life is so much bigger than that.

So please don't let Valentines Day get you down or hold you back, do it your way.