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The Biggest Mistake Single Parents Make When Their Ex Gets a New Partner
- 4 days ago
- 4 min read
One of the biggest mistakes I see single parents make when their ex gets a new partner…
…is automatically thinking:
“There’s something wrong with me, that’s why I was so quickly replaced.”
And honestly? I get it.
Because when your ex moves on quickly, it doesn’t just sting, it can completely shatter your self worth.
It can feel like you’ve been replaced.
Like you didn’t matter.
Like they’ve “won” and you’ve been left behind.
And before you know it, you’re spiralling into thoughts you never even used to have about yourself.
When Your Ex Moves On Quickly, It Triggers Everything
When your ex gets a new partner, it can trigger so many painful thoughts, like:
I wasn’t good enough.
I’ve failed.
There must be something wrong with me.
They’ve upgraded.
I’ve been replaced.
If only I tried harder.
I’ll never find someone else again. I’ll be single forever.
And then the real danger happens…
You start blaming yourself for everything.
Not because you’ve actually done something wrong.
But simply because you’re single and they’re not.
And when you’re already feeling vulnerable, exhausted, and emotionally raw as a single parent… that comparison hits even harder.
But Here’s the Truth (And It Might Sting at First)
When your ex jumps into a new relationship straight away, it’s not a sign of their happiness.
It’s usually a sign of:
💫 their refusal to heal
💫 their refusal to self-reflect 💫 their refusal to sit with the discomfort of the breakup
💫 their need to use someone new as a distraction so they don’t have to face their own emotions
However their quick rebound is not a reflection of your worth. It’s a reflection of their inability to grow, heal, and face themselves.
Your Ex Isn’t a Different Person Just Because They’re Dating Someone New
This is another piece that’s so important to remember:
Your ex is not suddenly a better person just because they’ve found someone new.
They’re not magically healed.
They’re not suddenly emotionally mature.
They’re not suddenly ready to be the perfect partner.
Their new partner is simply seeing the sweet version of them…
The version you once saw at the start.
The version that felt exciting.The version that felt safe.The version that made you believe it was finally going to be different.
But as hard as it is, you eventually saw a different side to them, which is why you broke up.
And if they were the right partner for you…
you’d still be together.
Stop Comparing Yourself to the New Partner
This is the part that keeps single parents stuck for months… sometimes years.
You start comparing:
your body
your personality
your life
your parenting
your confidence
your “worthiness”
your job
your income
…to someone you don’t even know.
And you start using their new relationship as a mirror for your value.
But it’s not a mirror.
It’s a trigger.
And the more you focus on it the more you hold yourself back
So please, stop comparing yourself to the new partner.
Stop checking their socials.
Stop trying to figure out what they have that you don’t.
Stop letting your ex’s choices define your worth.
Because your worth is not defined by who your ex is dating.
The Real Reason This Hurts So Much (Especially as a Single Parent)
And this is the part that people who aren’t single parents don’t always understand.
When you’re co-parenting, you can’t just block them.
You can’t just delete them.
You can’t just “move on” and pretend they don’t exist.
Because they’re still there.
They’re still in your life through the kids.
You still see them at drop-offs.
You still see them at school events.
You still see them at birthday parties, sports days, weekend activities… all the things.
And when they’ve got a new partner, it can feel like it’s constantly being rubbed in your face.
Not because you’re trying to be dramatic, but because it’s literally in front of you.
You’re watching someone new step into spaces that used to be yours.
You’re watching your kids be around someone else.
You’re watching your ex play “happy families” with a new person… while you’re still trying to pick yourself back up.
And that can trigger a whole new level of pain.
Because it doesn’t just feel like you’ve been replaced as a partner.
Sometimes it genuinely starts to feel like you’re being replaced as a parent too.
And that’s what makes it so hard.
Your Healing Will Always Be More Powerful Than Their Distraction
The most empowering thing you can do right now is this:
Stop focusing on their new relationship.
And start focusing on your healing.
Because healing means you’re actually moving forward.
Not numbing.
Not avoiding.
Not pretending.
You’re processing.
You’re growing.
You’re rebuilding your life from the inside out.
And that will always lead to something stronger in the long run.
If You’re Struggling With This Right Now…
If your ex has a new partner and you’re finding yourself spiralling into self-doubt…
If it feels impossible to accept…
If you keep replaying the relationship and blaming yourself…
Please know you’re not alone, and you don’t have to sit in that pain by yourself.
If you’d like support, then lets have a chat. I offer a free 1:1 intro chat, where I’ll help you shift out of the spiral, believe in yourself again, and start stepping back into your power knowing what you truly deserve,
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