Making Friends as a Single Parent: Why It Feels So Hard (and How to Change It)

One of the biggest things I see as a coach for single parents is how many people struggle with making new friends. It’s something that comes up over and over again in my sessions, people saying, “I just don’t have anyone,” or “I feel like everyone disappeared after my breakup.”

It’s one of the hardest and loneliest parts of single parenting, not having that close circle anymore, not having people to lean on, and feeling like you’re doing everything on your own.

And unfortunately, this isn’t rare. When people go through a breakup or divorce, especially if things ended badly, it’s not uncommon for friends to feel like they have to take sides. So they start to distance themselves to avoid getting caught up in the middle, or suddenly they’re more aligned with your ex.

And in some cases, it goes even deeper than that, especially when you’ve come out of a toxic relationship. It’s not uncommon to be villainized or to have your ex turn your friends against you, twisting the story to make you look like the problem. It’s painful and isolating because you’re not only grieving the relationship, but now also the loss of friendships and the support system you thought you had.

But here’s the thing I remind my clients all the time: you can absolutely make new friends. It is possible, but it’s going to take you stepping outside your comfort zone to make it happen.

This is where a lot of single parents get stuck. They want new friends. They crave connection. They know they need support. But they’re not doing anything to make it happen, and that’s not because they don’t care. It’s because they’re scared.

They’re scared to show up alone. They’re scared to be the new person. They’re scared they won’t fit in. They’re scared they’ll get rejected or that people won’t like them.

And I get it, when your confidence has taken a hit after a breakup, putting yourself out there again can feel terrifying. Especially when you’ve spent years prioritizing your kids, your work, and just surviving the day-to-day.

But if you want to create a life that feels full again, you have to be willing to take that first uncomfortable step. Because the truth is, friendships aren’t going to just fall in your lap. They take effort. They take vulnerability. And they take putting yourself in spaces where new connections can actually happen.

There are so many ways to do this now:

• Join a gym, yoga, or Pilates class.

• Try a sport or walking group.

• Sign up for a book club, art class, or dog-walking group.

• Check out community events or local meetups on social media, there are groups for almost everything these days.

• Get involved at your kids’ school or sports, talk to other parents at pick-up, say yes to school events, or volunteer for a committee.

• If you’re a business owner, look into networking events or local business groups.

I’ve been to so many of these by myself over the years, and some of the best friendships I’ve made have come from simply showing up on my own.

Even something as simple as going for a walk can create connection. For me, I walk on the beach every day. Over time, I’ve met a small group of people who do the same. Now, every weekend we catch up for a coffee and a chat. They’re not people I would have normally met, we’re all different ages and from different walks of life, but it’s become such a grounding, genuine part of my week.

That’s what friendship is about. It’s not about finding people exactly your age or who have the same story as you. It’s about connecting with good people who make you feel seen, supported, and included.

And here’s something important to remember: connection doesn’t always have to look like a best friend or a big social circle. Sometimes, it’s just about having one or two people who you can chat with, laugh with, or lean on when you need to.

So if you’re feeling isolated right now, please know that it doesn’t have to stay that way. The opportunities are there. There are people out there who would love to meet you. But they won’t know you exist if you’re not showing up.

You have to be willing to take that first step. Yes, it’s uncomfortable at first. You might walk into that yoga class or parent meet-up feeling awkward or out of place, but give it time. Because all it takes is one conversation, one connection, to change everything.

And the more you do it, the easier it gets. You start to rebuild your confidence. You start to realize people aren’t judging you the way you think they are. You start to see that there are other single parents, other people just like you, who are craving connection just as much as you are.

If you want new friends, you have to start by showing up for yourself. Put yourself in situations where connection can happen. Say hello first. Join that class. Go for that coffee. Be open to meeting people who might not look or live like you do. Because you never know, the people who come into your life next might just end up being the ones who make this chapter of your journey so much better.

And while making new friends is important, don’t be afraid to start doing things on your own, too. So many single parents hold back because they’re waiting for someone to go out with, whether that’s a new friend, partner, family member, or even their kids. But learning to do things on your own can be incredibly empowering.

Go out for lunch by yourself, take yourself to a market or the movies, whatever it is, just get out there. You don’t need company to do the things you enjoy. The more you put yourself out there, the more comfortable you become in your own space, and that confidence naturally attracts new people into your life.

And the best part? You’re not going out just to make friends, you’re going out to enjoy life. That’s when the right people tend to show up, because you’re relaxed, open, and genuinely happy doing your own thing.

So please don’t stay stuck in isolation. Don’t sit around waiting for people to come to you. Take that first step. Put yourself out there. Because the truth is, there are good people out there waiting to meet you. You just have to give them the chance.

Because at the end of the day, it’s not about having a huge group of people you can’t really rely on. It’s about having a small, quality group of people who truly get you, the ones who match your energy, who are there when you need them, and who make you feel supported and understood. Those are your people.

But if you’re struggling with the confidence to put yourself out there, let’s have a chat and work through it together. Confidence plays a huge role in opening yourself up to new connections, and once you build it, making new friends (and keeping the right ones) becomes so much easier.

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