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Helping Your Kids Navigate Christmas Between Two Homes
- lifeafterplusone
- Dec 23
- 2 min read
Christmas can look very different for kids when it’s shared between two homes, and that can bring up a lot of mixed emotions, for them and for you.
If you’re navigating Christmas across two households this year, one of the most important things you can do is talk to your kids about it openly and honestly. Kids cope better when they understand what’s happening and when they feel reassured, even if the situation isn’t ideal.
It’s easy to get caught up in what’s not working, the travel, the schedule, the juggling of two homes, but when we focus on those frustrations around the kids, it can actually confuse or unsettle them. Kids pick up on our emotions, and if they sense that we’re stressed, annoyed, or upset, they can internalize that and feel guilty or anxious.
Instead, try to focus on what is working: the love they have from both homes, the joy of special traditions, and the ways both parents are showing up for them. Even if things aren’t perfect, emphasizing the positives helps kids feel secure and excited about Christmas, rather than worried about the logistics.
By keeping the focus on what’s good and what’s meaningful, you’re helping your kids enjoy the holiday and remember the feeling of Christmas, not the challenges that came with it.
That doesn’t mean it’s always easy. Some kids struggle with the extra travel on Christmas Day, the back-and-forth, or missing one parent at certain moments. That’s normal. I experienced this myself as a child, I dreaded all the extra car travel on Christmas day, I just wanted to stay in the one place. So, I know how confusing it can feel at times.
But what makes a huge difference is communication.
Remind them often that:
Both parents love them equally
They are safe and cared for in both homes
Christmas is still about fun, joy, and feeling special
They get double the love and double the presents (that's usually a winner)
As parents, it’s also important to be mindful of how we speak about the situation. When we focus heavily on how unfair or frustrating it feels for us, kids can internalise that and feel even more unsettled. That doesn’t mean ignoring your feelings, it just means not placing that emotional weight onto them.
This is the situation right now. Fighting it mentally doesn’t make it easier for you or for them.
What does help is finding ways to make it work:
Creating excitement around what they’ll do in each home
Letting them look forward to special traditions in both places
Keeping the tone positive, even when it’s hard
Christmas is meant to be about joy, connection, and feeling loved. And while it might not look the way you once imagined, your kids will remember how they felt, not how many houses they went to.
You’re doing the best you can in a situation you didn’t choose. And that matters more than you realise.
Leanne
xx
Want some more support over Christmas then be sure to check out the Life Ater Plus One podcast
Or reach out if you need some personalised 1:1 support
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