Loneliness as a Single Parent: Let’s Actually Talk About It

Loneliness as a single parent is something a lot of people experience, but not many people feel comfortable saying out loud.

It’s quiet. It’s isolating. And it often shows up in small, everyday moments rather than big dramatic ones. You can be busy all day, doing everything that needs to be done, surrounded by your kids, and still feel really alone.

A lot of that loneliness comes from how much life changes after a breakup.

Relationships Ending Can Often Be a Result of Friendships Changing.

When a relationship ends, friendships often change as well. Sometimes people don’t know how to act around two people that have broken up. Some feel like they need to take sides. Some don’t want to be caught in the middle, so they step back completely not wanting to get involved. Others sometimes drift toward your ex.

As a result, your friendship circle can suddenly feel much smaller. And when your support network shrinks at the same time as your relationship ends, the loneliness can hit harder. It’s not just about being single, it’s about feeling like fewer people really see or support you anymore. Losing your friends at a time you need your friends the most.

Carrying Everything on Your Own

Doing life on your own as a single parent can add a whole other layer to that feeling.

You’re doing more on your own. You’re managing the routines, the logistics, the emotional load, the mental load, all of it. Even when you love your kids deeply, doing everything solo can still feel isolating because there’s no one to share it with.

No one to talk to at the end of your day, no one to back you up when it all gets too hard.

Then the kids go to the other parent, the house gets quiet. You finally have time to yourself, but instead of wanting to socialise, you’re too exhausted. You don’t want to talk. You don’t want to be ‘on’. You just want to rest.

Over time, that exhaustion can turn into withdrawal, and that withdrawal feeds the loneliness.

Why Not Asking for Help Makes It Worse

Many single parents fall into the habit of not asking for help.

You tell yourself you should be able to handle it. You don’t want to rely on anyone. You don’t want to feel like a burden. So you push through and keep going.

But that often leads to doing everything alone, burning yourself out, pulling back from people, and feeling even more isolated. It becomes a pattern that’s hard to break.

Online Interaction vs Real Connection

In all of this, it’s easy to lean on social media as a substitute for connection.

Scrolling, liking, replying to stories, asking for advice from people you don't know, it can feel social, but it doesn’t replace real human interaction. We need real life conversations, we need to be listened to, laughter, and feeling understood.

When online interaction becomes the main source of connection, it can actually make loneliness feel even louder.

However Being Alone Isn’t the Same as Being Lonely

This distinction matters.

Being alone can be calm, grounding, and really quite enjoyable. It can be time you genuinely appreciate.

Being lonely feels different. It feels sad, disconnected, and empty. If being on your own constantly feels uncomfortable or upsetting, it’s often a sign there are emotions or experiences that need to be worked through. Loneliness isn’t something to ignore it’s information to pay attention to.

Looking at Your Role in Connection

This is where some honest reflection can help.

Are you reaching out to people, or waiting for them to reach out to you? Have you stopped messaging because it feels like it’s ‘their turn’? Have you assumed people don’t care without actually telling them how you feel?

Everyone is busy. Everyone has their own stuff going on. Connection doesn’t come from keeping score, it comes from effort on both sides.

Gently Expanding Your World Again

Sometimes connection doesn’t come from old friendships at all. Sometimes it comes from putting yourself into new spaces, single parent groups, social or interest-based groups, local events, or business networking.

Often, the biggest thing holding people back isn’t lack of opportunity, it’s fear.

Fear of being judged.

Fear of not fitting in.

Fear of not being good enough.

So people stay in their bubble in fear of not being accepted. And the longer they stay there, the harder it feels to step out of it.

Why It’s Worth It

Real-life connection is worth the discomfort.

It reminds you that you’re not the only one going through this. It brings perspective, a new level of confidence, and a sense of normality back into your life.

Being alone can be healthy and necessary.

Staying lonely doesn’t have to be your normal.

Reframing Loneliness

This is where reframing the word loneliness really matters.

Being alone does not automatically mean you’re lonely. Being alone can be a choice, an opportunity to pause and reset. Loneliness, on the other hand, is more often than not tied to emotion.

Quite often, when someone feels lonely, it’s not because they don’t have access to people, it’s because they’re hurt. They’re scared to put themselves out there. They’re afraid of rejection, of not being liked, of feeling uncomfortable or out of place. So they stick to themselves, not because they want to, but because it feels safer and easier.

After a big breakup, especially as a single parent, your confidence often takes a hit. You can lose belief in yourself. You start doubting whether you’re enough, whether you’ll be accepted, whether you belong in certain spaces anymore.

That lack of confidence only feeds the loneliness.

And this is such an important piece, loneliness doesn’t disappear on its own. The longer you sit in it without addressing what’s underneath, the harder it gets. It impacts your mood, your self-worth, your motivation, and how connected you feel to the world around you.

It’s also important to acknowledge that getting caught in a pattern of loneliness can have real impacts.

Because when you stay there too long, it can affect you in so many ways, your motivation, increased stress levels, and it slowly chips away at your confidence even more over time.

The longer you stay stuck in that lonely space, the harder it becomes to get out of it.

And when you’re in that pattern, it’s easy to start focusing on the negatives. Thoughts like “I can’t do this,” “I’m not good enough,” “No one’s going to like me,” or “Why should I even bother?” start taking over.

You get trapped in that frame of mind, and because you’re not talking to anyone or getting outside your own thoughts, your self-critic just keeps running on repeat. That loop keeps holding you back and pushes you even further away from making genuine connections and living the life you want to live.

In all of this, it’s easy to lean on social media as a substitute for real connection. You’re feeding your mind with negative interactions rather than the support, understanding, and connection that real life relationships provide.

But when you start working through things, rebuilding your confidence, and slowly challenging the fears that keep you feeling not good enough, that's when everything starts to change for the better. You stop seeing being alone as a sign that something is wrong with you and use it as a time to enjoy. And you start finding opportunities to create real connection instead of running away from it.

This is exactly the work I focus on in my coaching, helping single parents rebuild confidence, trust themselves again, and feel comfortable putting themselves back into the world.

Because while being alone can be healthy, staying stuck in loneliness doesn’t have to be the final outcome.

There is so much on the other side of feeling lonely and all that fear, friendships, confidence, and a life that feels fun and exciting again. But to get there you need to take the first step to choosing something different. Nothing good in life just lands in our laps, it's all about how you choose to look at it and what you decide to do about it.

You can be alone, but it doesn't mean you have to be lonely. That choice is yours!

Leanne

Life After Plus One

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