Why do so many Single Parents refuse to get help… even when they're clearly struggling?

This is something I see every single day in my work as a single parent coach.

Every day I have people reaching out to me. They comment on my posts, reply to my stories, send me messages, and tell me how exhausted they are. They tell me they’re struggling with their coparent, they’re mentally drained, they don’t know what to do anymore, they’re anxious every time their ex’s name pops up on their phone, and they’re completely overwhelmed by their life.

And what breaks my heart is that so many of these people never take the next step. to do anything to make their situation any better.

Now, before anyone jumps to conclusions, I completely understand that finances can play a huge part. I know coaching isn’t possible for everyone at every stage of life, and I’m never going to judge someone for that. But finances aren’t always the only reason. I know for a lot of people, they’ve become so used to surviving that they don’t even realise there could be another way.

They’ve convinced themselves this is just what single parenting is.

That this is what coparenting is.

That this is just how life has to be now.

So instead of asking for help, they keep pushing through. They keep hoping things will magically improve. They keep telling themselves, “I’ll be okay,” while secretly feeling like they’re drowning.

But hoping your ex changes isn’t a strategy.

Hoping the conflict settles down on its own isn’t a strategy.

Hoping one day you’ll suddenly wake up feeling happier and more confident isn’t a strategy either.

Nothing changes if nothing changes.

One of the saddest things I see is parents who have been stuck in exactly the same coparenting dynamic for years. They’re having the same arguments, the same frustrations, the same emotional reactions, and the same sleepless nights they were having five or even ten years ago. Not because they want to be there, but because they genuinely don’t know what else to do. They are convinced they have to put up with it because this is who their ex is. They’ve never been shown another way to approach it.

And that’s the part that gets me.

Because why would you choose to spend years of your life feeling mentally and emotionally exhausted if there was another option?

Why would you keep accepting a situation that is quite literally sucking the life out of you?

Why would you continue putting everyone else’s needs first while convincing yourself you’ll deal with your own happiness “one day”?

As a single parent, your mental and emotional health isn’t a luxury. It’s one of the greatest investments you can make, not just for yourself, but for your children. They get the version of you that comes home every day. They get the version of you that’s carrying the stress, the frustration, the anxiety, the tears, the sadness, and the emotional exhaustion. While none of us are going to get it right all the time, don’t you owe it to yourself, and to them, to ask whether there might be a better way?

For so many single parents struggling for a long time can start to feel familiar it has become their new norm. You become so used to carrying the weight that you stop questioning whether you should be carrying it at all. You start believing that constantly feeling overwhelmed is how life is. That always being on edge is normal. That feeling mentally and emotionally exhausted every single week is just part of being a single parent.

But it’s not.

It’s become your normal, and that’s a big difference.

One of the biggest misconceptions about asking for help is that people think it means they’ve failed or that they couldn’t do it on their own. Asking for help is one of the bravest things you can do for yourself because you’re making a decision that you’re no longer willing to accept a life that’s making you miserable.

You don’t get a medal for struggling the longest.

You don’t get a trophy for carrying the heaviest emotional load.

And you certainly don’t win anything by spending the next decade hoping your coparent suddenly becomes a different person.

The only person you can change is yourself.

The way you approach situations.

The way you communicate.

The way you respond.

The way you rebuild your confidence.

The way you choose to move forward.

That’s where your power has always been.

So I’ll leave you with this...

How much longer are you going to keep hoping things will just get better?

How much longer are you going to keep telling yourself, “This is just how it is”?

How much longer are you going to keep putting your mental and emotional health on the back burner while everyone else comes first?

Because here’s the reality...

Your mental and emotional health isn’t just about you.

It’s about your children too.

They deserve a parent who isn't constantly weighed down by stress, conflict, anxiety, and emotional exhaustion. They deserve to experience a version of you that feels more present, connected, and able to enjoy the moments you share together.

And don’t you deserve that too?

If not for yourself, then do it for them.

At some point, you have to stop hoping for a different outcome and start asking yourself, “What am I willing to do differently?”

Because if you keep approaching your coparenting the same way, you’ll keep getting the same outcome.

If you keep waiting for your coparent to change, you just keep putting your own life on hold.

If you keep convincing yourself you’ll be okay while running on empty, eventually that catches up with you.

So when are you going to start making your mental and emotional health a priority?

Not next year.

Not when your kids are older.

Not when your coparent changes.

Now, for you

Because your children deserve the best version of you. And you deserve a life where you’re not just surviving each day, you actually get to enjoy it.

CLICK HERE If you're ready to take that next step and stop doing this alone

Leanne

Life After Plus One