The Truth Behind Wanting to Name & Shame Your Ex

Let’s talk about it, That fire in your chest. The urge to finally name and shame your ex for everything they put you through.

Because the truth is, they didn’t just leave.

They hurt you, blamed you, and twisted the story to make you look like the problem, right when you were emotionally at your lowest. And now they’re out there living their best life, acting like they were the one who got hurt.

Meanwhile, you’re stuck picking up the pieces of your sanity, your confidence, your peace. And all you want to do is scream.

You want the world to see behind the mask.

To see the lies, the manipulation, the gaslighting, the emotional abuse.

You want people to know that while they were out there playing the victim, you were just trying to survive.

Because it’s not just about revenge, it’s about pain. It’s about not being believed. It’s about the unbearable injustice of being painted as “the crazy ex” while they skip off playing the hero in a story they rewrote to suit their ego.

And the more you react, the more triggered you get, the more they win. Because of that reaction? That’s what they’re feeding off.

It’s sick. It’s cruel. But it’s the game they know how to play.

And the hardest thing, especially when you’re drowning in grief, rage, and betrayal, is to stay quiet. To walk away. To be the bigger person.

Because when you're hurting that much, you don’t care about taking the high road.

You care about being seen.

You care about people knowing the truth.

You want them to hurt like they hurt you.

And that’s real. That’s human. That’s valid.

But here’s the part no one talks about: When you try to expose someone who thrives off image and control, they fight dirty. They retaliate. They twist your words, deny everything, and make you question your own reality.

And when you’re co-parenting? It gets even messier. Because now they’ve got something else to weaponise, your kids. Your schedule. Financial commitments, Your peace.

So before you post, message, or share everything publicly… ask yourself:

Are you ready for the war they’ll wage to keep their mask on?

Because once you start, they won’t stop. It won't be a one off retaliation, its an ongoing power play to be the better person, years of emotional abuse from them to make you look unhinged, jealous, anything but honest.

The people who truly love and care about you won’t need proof. They’ll see your heart. They’ll know there’s more to the story, and they’ll reach out and ask how you’re doing, not just believe the first version they hear from your ex.

Focus on those people. The ones who stay, who check in, who listen. Not the ones who judge from a distance based on your ex’s twisted version of events.

You don’t need to waste energy proving your worth to people who are too quick to pick a side. Keep your energy for the ones who already know who you are, and never needed you to explain.

Stop focusing on destroying your ex. They’ll do it themselves. The truth will always come out at some point.

And the real power? Is walking away silently, rebuilding your life without them, showing how strong, powerful, and independent you are without them, all whilst they’re left screaming for attention.

How do you win? By not letting their lies control your life

If you’re struggling with this, know you’re not alone. Reach out and let’s talk about how to reclaim your power and not let your ex's words or actions get you down.

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