How to Set Boundaries as a Single Parent (Without Feeling Guilty)

Let’s be real, setting boundaries as a single parent can feel so awkward. You say no and then the guilt kicks in, right? You feel like you’re letting someone down, being difficult, or worse, like a bad parent. But here’s the truth: boundaries aren’t selfish, they’re survival.

If you don’t set them, you burn out. And trust me, your kids don’t need a burnt-out parent.

Here’s how to make it easier (and feel way less guilty about it):

1. Remember Why Boundaries Matter

Boundaries keep you sane. They protect your time, your happiness, and your mental health. Without them, everything feels like chaos, and avoiding boundaries is how you get walked all over and that’s the last thing you need. Plus, you’re showing your kids what confidence look like and how to speak up when something is not right. That’s a win.

2. Start Small, Like, Really Small

You don’t have to flip your whole life upside down. Pick one thing:✔ No calls from your ex after 8 p.m.✔ Ten minutes of quiet time before bedtime.✔ One night a week where you do nothing.

Start with baby steps still.

3. Stop Apologising for Having Needs

You don’t need to write an essay or explain yourself 10 times. A boundary is a statement, not a debate. Instead of: “I’m so sorry, but I can’t right now with a detailed explanation about why you cant Say: “I'm not able to do that. "Done. No extra fluff.

4. Give Yourself Permission

You don’t need anyone’s approval to put yourself first sometimes. Read that again. Setting a boundary doesn’t mean you’re mean, it means you care about your mental health (and your kids deserve a parent who’s not running on empty).

5. Remember Who’s Watching You

Your kids are learning from you. If they see you running yourself into the ground, always saying yes, and never taking care of yourself… guess what they’ll grow up thinking is normal? You’re teaching them boundaries by leading by example.

6. Some People Won’t Like It (And That’s Okay)

Here’s the hard truth: when you start setting boundaries, some people are going to feel uncomfortable. Why? Because it changes the dynamic they’re used to. If someone benefits from you always saying yes, they’re not going to clap when you start saying no.

They might even try to guilt you, push back, or act offended. That doesn’t mean your boundary is wrong, it means it’s working. People who truly respect you will adjust. The ones who don’t? They were more interested in what they could get from you then they are in your well-being.

Boundaries often reveal who’s in your corner and who’s just in it for convenience. Let them be uncomfortable, that’s their work, not yours.

The Bottom Line

Boundaries aren’t about shutting people out, they’re about keeping yourself together. And here’s the thing: setting boundaries is not about being confrontational. It’s not starting a fight. It’s not being rude. It’s simply saying, “This is what I need to stay healthy and happy.”

You deserve that. Your kids deserve that.

✅ Want some help with this?

If you’re struggling to set boundaries without feeling guilty, then let’s chat. Book a free session with me below. We’ll talk about what’s holding you back and how to make

boundaries feel natural, not awkward.

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